Healing racism column touches hearts of readers

By The Standard Staff - 05/02/2008

Dear Chris: I read your article (Standard 3/18/08) and would like to say thank you. I grew up in a family that was both racist and fundamentalist catholic. All that catholic stuff of the ’50s, confession, stations of the cross, first Fridays, at an early age, I could not reconcile the religious talk with the racism. Only later did I learn that Maryland, where I grew up, and Kentucky, were slave states — that the Catholic clergy had slaves working for them.

I have emancipated myself from Catholicism and from racism. I have taught my children well so they do not “live their father’s hell.” My parents were also very critical and physically abusive to us kids. That too I have overcome along with my former wife, their mother. We used time-outs rather than beating our children. I had a weight set in the basement that I used to release my anger, rather than hitting my kids. I have spoken to my children many times about great men like Dr. Martin Luther King; it can be done. Thanks again for a wonderful column.

— Steve Dear Steve: Thanks for your very personal and heartfelt letter. Below is another reader’s perspective on the same subject.

Dear Chris: I am a father of two daughters, and I am a Black/Samoan man here in Butte. I believe whole- heartedly that the problem of racism is still bigger than we as a race of human beings are willing to open our eyes to recognize.

My children are multi-racial and they must grow up in this world good or bad. I agree as a father and a man that it is “our” responsibility to turn “history” into "our story.” I don’t see color, I see children misguided by a “normal” status quo.

I’ll be the first to risk my life for someone white, black or purple if it can save a life. I challenge every man and woman of the Butte community to step up to the plate; it takes a nation to raise a child. Please Butte, look beyond the skin and the bottle into the heart or our children will suffer.

Dear Readers: I received so many comments, responses and letters following the recent racially motivated attack on a Butte female that is impossible to print them all. I would however like to thank all who wrote for their honesty and personal candor. I’d also like to personally thank Toria Henrich for serving our country, and extend my blessings and a hope for healing to her and her family.

Problems with life, love, work, or just irritations in general? Chris Quigley, licensed clinical social worker, is a mental health therapist in Butte. We want to hear from you. E-mail questions to quiglerock@aol.com. Or write: If I Were You, The Montana Standard, Box 627, Butte 59703. All names are changed to protect confidentiality.