|
Tap 'er Light: Make this resolution a winner
Today is the first day of 2008.
I always thought by now we’d have colonies on the moon and I’d drive a flying car to work.
Yet I’m still riding around in my beat-up old truck while the wife uses the nice car I bought before we were married.
I’ve long since realized that life isn’t fair, but just because we haven’t hit a lot of goals (like the flying car) it doesn’t mean we should stop trying to get better.
Today is the day most people start a New Year’s resolution that most people will fail on by the end of the week.
Here’s a few suggestions for some resolutions that will contribute to the betterment of the world much more than you hitting the floor for a few situps before you go to bed tonight.
Don’t be that parent.
High school sports are constantly under attack from overzealous parents who think they know more than the coach.
A parent doesn’t go to a prep basketball game for 10 years. Then suddenly he’s an expert the second his son or daughter tries out for the freshman team.
If you think a coach should be fired because his team took only second at the state tournament, I mean you.
Knock it off. You’re ruining everything for the rest of us.
Plus, if you really get down to it, there’re millions of other reasons you could come up with for hating a person other than how many minutes your son logs in a basketball game.
If you’re not that parent, punch that parent when you see him.
Oh sure, they always say “violence isn’t the answer.” Maybe not. But sitting back and letting that jerk get away with being a jerk hasn’t been working either.
Maybe it’s time to give violence a try.
All right, all right. Don’t go punching anybody. That would only make matters worse. Plus, it would just get your name in the paper in the police reports.
Just make sure if you sit next to the “I hate the coach” fan, tell him to shut up.
Then if he takes the first punch, it’s OK to hit him.
Watch the Evel Knievel movie.
No, not the stupid made-for-TV thing you saw a few years ago. Watch the stupid 1971 movie starring George Hamilton as Evel.
I saw the movie for the first time the other night — with extremely low expectations going in — and enjoyed the heck out of it.
There was some bad acting, for sure. But a good percentage of the movie was filmed in the streets of Butte, and Hamilton’s portrayal of a young Evel was quite entertaining.
The best part of the movie, though, was the angry plumber who didn’t want to clean up the mess when Evel blew up the bathroom by accident at the old City Hall.
The plumber was played by my buddy Ralph Schmidt, and quite convincingly I might add. I have no idea why his acting career fizzled after that part.
My uncle Melvin D’Arcy, who gave me my old truck, tried out unsuccessfully to play Evel as a boy.
Otherwise, that movie might have won an Oscar.
If nothing else, George Hamilton’s Evel Knievel sure beats the heck out of “Don’t Come Knocking.”
Burn your copy of “Don’t Come Knocking.”
Don’t suddenly join a health club if you decide to be one of those “drop 20 pounds” New Year’s people.
The first part of the year, the YMCA is crowded, and people truly dedicated to working out have a hard time getting on the machine. Go for a jog or bike ride, See TAP, Page B4 Tap ...
where you won’t bother anybody else.
Sure, it’s only a couple of weeks of waiting before the suddenly fit fall off the resolution wagon, but they’ve really got to be among the most annoying people of all.
Of course, since I’ve never waited for an exercise machine in my life, I can only assume this to be true.
Go to some Daredevils games.
If the town doesn’t start supporting our very own CBA team, at the end of the season — maybe sooner — it will go the way of the old Butte Copper Kings.
Daredevils games are fun and reasonably priced. Plus, you can always get a great seat.
If you don’t pay attention to the uniforms and the stadium, you’d have to be a scout to know the difference between the NBA and the CBA.
The basketball is that good, and we get only around 800 to 1,000 fans per game.
Yet night after night a movie theater that charges $5.50 for a 4-year-old and $4 pops is full.
That doesn’t make sense.
If you still don’t want to go, then just do it anyway. For the children.
Honor the life of Mariah McCarthy, the 14-year-old girl killed by the alleged drunk driver two months ago, and accept Mariah’s Challenge (mariahschallenge.com).
Don’t even have one beer and drive home. Don’t let your friends and family members do it either.
It might be the simplest, yet most important New Year’s resolution of all, and by accepting that challenge we can show everybody the true meaning of the term “Butte tough.” I am proud to say that I have accepted Mariah’s Challenge.
Sure, I don’t have that flying car just yet. But you can rest assured I am sober behind the wheel of my beat-up old truck.
That’s got to count for something.
Sportswriter Bill Foley, who has never made a New Year’s resolution, writes a column that appears Tuesdays in the Standard. Chat with him at Butterats.com">Butterats.com.
| Civil Dialogue: | show/hide -No comments posted.- |
|
The site mtstandard.com provides this community forum for readers to exchange ideas and opinions on the news of the day. Passionate views, pointed criticism and critical thinking are welcome. Name-calling, crude language and personal abuse are not welcome. Moderators will monitor comments with an eye toward maintaining a high level of civility in this forum. If you don't see your comment, perhaps... more
|
|
|
TOP JOBS
|
The Montana Standard reserves the right to remove comments considered inappropriate for the community forum.