What women want: Men fall short on intuition, mind reading

By The Standard Staff - 08/23/2007

Dear Chris:

I’m about to come out of my skin and I need your help. I came home two days ago to a butt chewing by my wife, and I don’t think I deserved it. I’ve had an important business trip planned for a month. It was a four day trip, and when the time came for me to leave, my wife had come down with a pretty bad case of the flu. I asked her if she’d like me to cancel the trip. My wife insisted she was fine and didn’t want me to cancel the trip just because she didn’t feel well, so I went. I made a point to call twice a day to see if everything was okay. Well, when I got back, she gave me the cold shoulder big time. After asking her about what was wrong, she finally told me she was mad that I went on the trip. She said I “didn’t care enough” to stay home when she was so sick. Chris, she told me over and over to go! She claimed that even though she told me to go, “I should have known she was just being nice,’’ and I should have cancelled my trip anyway. I think the flu’s affected her sanity. What do you think?

Dear Out of my Skin:

Oh, you poor poor man. How long have you been married? Never mind, it doesn’t matter. It’s never too late for you to learn that most women, if not all, are to some degree telepathic. Telepathy is a term used to describe, “The transfer of thoughts and feelings between individuals by means other than the five senses,’’ (Wikipedia 2007). In layman’s terms this means that women are mind readers. Haven’t you ever noticed that a women will tell you what you or someone else is thinking? Has your wife ever said, “So, you think I’m fat?,’’ or “You think I’m so stupid.’’ Or, she might come home from work and say, “My boss thinks she’s so much better than me,’’ or “So-and-so hates me, I can tell.’’ They also know what others want. Without asking, they’ll pick the perfect birthday or Christmas present. Haven’t you ever noticed that? They’re quite amazing actually. So, what’s this got to do with me you might ask? My God, do you need everything explained to you? OK, here’s an example. Have you ever seen the Mel Gibson movie “What Women Want?’’ Mel’s character has the ability to hear women’s thoughts, and more importantly, their desires. Although it probably wasn’t the writer’s intention, that’s the ultimate message of the movie. Because women can hear our thoughts, they want us to hear theirs, and when we don’t, they get mad as hell!

If I were you, I’d consider the fact that typically women were brought up to not express their needs and to put the needs of others ahead of their own. They’re also natural caregivers and nurturers, which is what makes them so wonderful! What they sometimes forget is that men just aren’t blessed with the gift of intuition and compassion that most women have. Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing this. But the next time you ask your wife what she wants or needs, you might consider doing the opposite of what she tells you, especially if she’s putting one of your needs before her own.

— Chris

Problems with life, love, work, or just irritations in general? Chris Quigley, licensed clinical social worker, is a mental health therapist in Butte. We want to hear from you. E-mail questions to quiglerock@aol.com. Or write: If I Were You, The Montana Standard, Box 627, Butte 59703. All names are changed to protect confidentiality.